Angela Morris - SADS UK North-West Co-ordinator

Since the story below was written Angela has become North West Co-ordinator for SADS UK and offers support to the bereaved. Angela was also involved in the Dialgen project and continues to attend meetings and conferences to assist in the field of SADS. The work that Angela does is in memory of her son Colin is remarkable. She has written a book about her life without Colin, which may be obtained through the charity. If you would like to speak with Angela please contact SADS UK.

 
Angela’s story in 2002
Colin Hankin
When my son Colin died 19 months ago I thought my life had come to an end and in a way it has. Life for me will never be the same again.

Through my grief I found Anne Jolly and we chatted on the phone; for the first time I had found someone who I could relate to, she understood what I was going through as she had gone through it too. It was so good to talk to her.

I saw in Anne how she had channelled her grief in a positive way and how Ashley would be so proud of her. The work she has done setting up this charity and always ready with a sympathetic ear inspired me so much I too wanted to do something to keep Colin's memory alive. Anne sent me leaflets of how to set up - ‘The Colin Hankin Memorial Fund ‘ - and my fundraising events started. I was so proud just to see a fund in Colin's name and this was the drive I needed. I have never Fundraised before in my life but it so helped me through my grief.

My cousin a very keen runner ran in The Great North Run for Colin's fund which through sponsors raised £700.00. It was the first time I had got excited about anything since losing Colin. It is always a bitter sweet experience but knowing I am doing something to keep Colin's memory alive is all the inspiration I need.

All the family got involved and another cousin of mine Elaine Halford did a sponsored Slim and raffle which raised £300.00. She is a sister in Warrington Hospital so I felt as well as raising money for Colin's Fund she is also raising awareness about SADS and where better than a hospital.

I am always thinking of new ways to raise the money needed to buy the heart monitoring machine and I have done various raffles, car boot sales and my Sunshine box is always on the go; I put money in this box on the days when I feel I am coping better.

Colin's bosses and work Colleagues have helped so much too at Christmas they held a raffle within the firm and managed to raise £700.00 which they plan to add to through future events.

In April we held our very first Quiz night and I am pleased to say it was a great success raising a total £620.00. It was so successful we are planning on having it as an annual event. There are so many kind people who are always willing to help with the organisation of these events and seeing so many of Colin's friends there made the night extra special.

Our latest event is happening in June. My daughter Gemma and my husband Grant are planning on doing a 26 mile bike ride at the Tissington Trail. This event is particularly special to me as Colin himself did this trail.  Colin had done the bike ride twice totalling 52 miles in all which proves to me just how fit he was and how losing him was so unfair.

I feel I have found my way of coping with losing Colin. It still hurts everyday but if I can prevent other young lives being lost then I have achieved something and Colin won't have died in vain.

I have booked my hotel ready for the 1st International SADS Conference and I am looking forward to sharing information and experiences with others who will be attending.

Angela Morris 

Susie Murray - SADS UK South-West Co-ordinator

The story below was written by Susie Murray in 2002. Since this time she has become South West Co-ordinator for SADS UK. Susie’s family history of SADS has compelled Susie to assist others who have experienced a sudden death or are living with the Long QT Syndrome. Her help and support is invaluable. If you would like to speak with Susie please contact SADS UK.

Susie’s story in 2002
Nadine Bennett

On 25th January our darling daughter Nadine Bennett was found dead in bed by her father. Nadine had died of SADS like my sister Dawn 2 years ago. Nadine was a fit, healthy, equine student of 21. You may have read about Nadine's death in the newspapers, understanding only too well the agony my family was experiencing. We'd only just recovered from Dawn's death. Why had it happened again?

Nadine had complained of feeling tired and unwell for some time & with hindsight she was probably displaying the warnings of SADS. She went to her GP, but nothing showed up. Her ECG was ok wasn't it? Now she's dead & we want answers to our question 'why again?'. Maybe now the doctors are going to find out why we've lost another, this time our precious daughter Nadine. Maybe if we'd been taken seriously after Dawn's death, Nadine would still be here? Who knows? At least she would have had a chance.

Nadine was a beautiful girl, so kind & caring. Her life had just begun. She'd just started out on life's journey and she was so happy. Nadine's funeral reflected all those qualities & was attended by so many people. She was carried to her funeral by 2 black horses & a glass bier. As long as I live I'll never forget the sea of faces at the graveyard, so many people who cared. But it should have been different; it should have been her wedding, not her funeral.

If I sound angry it's because I am. For a number of years Dawn & I suffered ill health. We were told it was just our stressful lives and dismissed as little more than a nuisance. It was hard to make ourselves heard. Some of the doctors were wonderful, my cardiologist, GP and Dr Paul Sherwood who believes that spinal trauma can predispose some individuals to SADS deaths. Dawn, Nadine & I had all suffered spinal injuries from falls whilst horseriding. When I met Dr Sherwood in 1997 his theories made sense and I never forgot him. Then Dawn died.

So now, in Nadine's memory, to try to make something good come from all the sadness, we're raising money for a 24hr heart monitor for our GP's surgery. We want to start a support group in Devon & Cornwall for those affected by a SADS death. We hope to publicise the work of Dr Paul Sherwood who we believe can explain some of the SADS deaths and whose theory is in this Newsletter. We will continue to raise awareness of SADS to save lives

We'll live each day with hope, we'll take Nadine's joy of life & all the love she gave & use it as our powerbase, for only by working together as a group can we make the medical profession listen to our voices. Things have to change.
Nadine's death was one death too many.
By Susie Murray

Lin Baldwin Support Contact, Wales

Lin lives in Carmarthenshire, Wales and is a one of the support contacts for SADS UK. If you would like to communicate with Lin please contact the charity.  See Lin's story below and her poem about SAD ...

Tom Gosling

Lin’s son Tom tragically died from SADS in June 1999, just sixteen days before his sixteenth Birthday. She wrote a book of poems as a tribute to Tom. In the introduction to the book which was published in 2001 Lin explains,

‘Unofficially, it seems to me that all death is a mystery and intense grief with its attendant emotional pain, anger, guilt and fear catapulted me into an altered state of consciousness. Time became different and it felt as if I had been transported to a different country. A stranger in a strange land, I did not recognise the terrain and could not speak the language. I longed for a map to guide me through this frightening and hostile landscape. I asked profound questions concerning meaning and futility, life and death. Writing poetry was an attempt to give shape and form to a devastating experience that was inescapable. There was nowhere to hide, nowhere to run.

The poems attempt to chart that mythical country which I inhabit, I am not a seasoned traveler but I am no stranger now.

The death of a child is a loss like no other. It ruptures the fabric of life and violates all that we imagine life should be; it seems totally unnatural and unfair. Unlike when older people die, we cannot say ‘He had a good innings’ or ’She lived a full life and was tired at the end’, instead we can only think of all the life our child did not experience, all that was denied to them and ourselves as hopes and dreams are shattered and our future torn apart. We yearn to see them, hold them, smell them, listen to their laughter, watch them grow and develop, knowing that now this can never be.

Parents who have experienced it say that there is no ‘getting over it’; the best one can hope for is to live around the dreadful abyss waiting there every morning. After a period of time we are able to function again, in some fashion, but we will never be whole again, never as we were before. The wound is hidden, but profound.

The death of a child also disturbs others who sometimes feel it is morbid to talk or think about it. This often hides a great deal of fear and anxiety, as if, by mentioning death, we somehow court it, by avoiding the subject, we can control it. Death does not just happen to ‘other people’ as I now know so well. Unfortunately, some children and young people do die in all manner of ways – from illness, accident, murder and suicide.

Tom always was and will continue to be central to our lives. Talking and thinking about him is as essential to us as breathing. When other people mention him with love and affection our hearts warm and our pain is borne more courageously.

We have no reason for Tom’s death. The closest we can come to a ‘why’ is that he had some rare and undiagnosed heart condition that affects the ‘electrics’ of the heart.’ The umbrella term for a variety of these little understood conditions is Sudden Arrhythmic Death Syndrome. The Ashley Jolly SAD Trust, SADS UK, was set up after the death of Anne Jolly’s 16 year old son, Ashley, who died suddenly and unexpectedly in his sleep a year before Tom. It exists to provide information and support to those who have lost loved ones in this devastating way and it raises money for heart monitoring equipment and defibrillators. Proceeds from these poems, in Tom’s memory, will go to this charity in the hope that others may be spared this pain or, if not, helped through it by those who have also traveled this hard path before them.

In Memory of Daniel Boughey

2nd April 1992 to 4th September 2006

My son was so full of life, he loved it so much. I am not saying he was an angel, as at times he could be a right pain – but that’s teenagers for you! But a mother’s love is unconditional and I loved Daniel so much. He was my life and I would do anything for him, the same as I would do for my other two children Stuart and Jessica. Like all brothers and sisters they had their ups and downs. He always had a smile on his face and was forever making us laugh. I miss him so much – we all do.

Sunday 3rd September was a lovely family day, something that we cant always do, due to work etc. together with Stuart and Daniel sometimes wanting to do ‘their own thing’. We went to the park and sat and had a family meal together; little did I know that it was going to be our last day together; as Daniel went to bed that night and died in his sleep. Stuart went to wake him in the morning of 4th September and Daniel would not wake up. I’ve since found out that Daniel died from SADS, Sudden Arrhythmic Death Syndrome; something I knew nothing about.

The 4th September was the day my life fell apart. Daniel showed no sign of SADS and that’s what I find so hard to come to terms with; you start to blame yourself. He was a fit 14 year old boy and you always ask yourself, Why?! When I went up to his room to him I thought Stuart had got it wrong and it was all a bad dream! I still think that he is going to walk into the room. It’s so hard knowing that the day before he was running around in the park, playing with his best mate Callan in the garden and the next day he is gone.

My life will never be the same again; but I have to carry on for my other two children, even though some days I don’t want to. But as long as I am alive I will carry on Daniels life for him and I hope in time that the ‘old me’ will return for Daniel. I want to be just how he liked me. He was never scared of showing his feelings and always told me how much he loved me.

Thank you Daniel for the best 14 years of your short life. I will always love you and never forget the impact you made in our lives.

Love Mum x, Dad x, Stu x and Jess x

In Memory of Dean Grey

Dean, my beautiful only son, was blonde, curly haired, and a model from the age of three to fourteen. Dean did a lot of commercials, magazines, books, papers, TV and best of all he was on all the Lego boxes in Toys R Us. I was so proud, I loved him so much. I was eighteen when I had Dean, and found it hard but we always had a lovely home and Dean. I wanted to give the world to Dean. So you can imagine, me and Dean always together for almost eighteen years.

When Dean turned seventeen he was ready for the RAF and had passed his exams to go in. I will never forget the phone call from an officer asking Dean to go into the RAF straight away but he wanted his first lads’ holiday first, which was booked up for August. All his friends from when he was eight were going. They were all such wonderful boys – so close and good. He panicked when he came off the phone and phoned me back “I will go in November” he said – just want to have fun with my friends before I go in.

Not long before Dean’s eighteenth birthday he was getting so excited, we had just paid for him to take his motorbike test, and the week before he died he learned he had just passed.Dean was motor sports mad, and loved being with my brother who had a super bike. Dean spent so much time with my brother and his favourite nieces. He worked so hard at Pizza Hut where he worked part time to save for his brand new bike.  But, my partner, Mathew, made Dean’s dream come true. Dean had seen the bike he wanted and Mathew helped to top up Dean’s money. I had never ever seen Dean so happy in all my life. My Dad bought him his leather jacket and he ordered his boots, which come a few days before Dean died. When his boots came Dean put them on and banged all round the house – he was so, so happy.

A few days after we didn’t see much of Dean, he visited everyone in my family, and all his friends in that one week, people he had not seen for a long time. The day Dean died; he had spent with my brother and his family. They had a barbeque, water fights, – he was so happy. My brother let Dean ride his super bike – Dean’s dream.

My sister-in-law said at the end of that day before Dean came home he sat in their garden, content, and happy, he then said I haven’t seen my Mum so I must go home. Drive carefully my brother said. My brother wanted to tell Dean that day how much he loved him, and what a great friend Dean had become.

We were all arranging a party for Dean to show him how much we loved him for his eighteenth and for when he left us to go into the RAF. Dean came home that night, with his best friend, Darren, they were to go out but Darren told us that Dean complained of a bad headache, Dean had complained about his eyes hurting a week before, so Dean came in and went straight to bed. Dean always came in to say Good Night and to see his dogs. He always locked up every night, had a glass of milk and one glass of coke but that night he didn’t do any of those things. He didn’t even turn his TV on – he had to have sound when he went to bed.

So we left Dean alone, all through Dean’s life I cuddled him every night, but I didn’t this time – I do not know why. I heard Dean’s alarm clock go off for work. I lay there waiting to get up, and then I would go down and make him a cup of tea. I always made Dean a cup of tea. I must have fallen asleep again and I woke up an hour later. Dean was not up, maybe he was not going to work. I went down and made Dean’s tea and then walked into his room talking as I went – then I saw Dean – blue, grey, still, laying across his bed I felt the coldness. I screamed so loud my whole village heard. I cuddled Dean, rubbed him to warm him up a puff of cold air came from his mouth – the horrible smell, his body so cold but I felt his stomach – it was warm. I knew that Dean was dead. I screamed so loud. Mathew, my partner, came running in, he did mouth to mouth resuscitation and called an ambulance. All my neighbours heard my cries – one lady came in to help. I begged her to tell me Dean was OK. She could not look at me. She knew Dean was dead. She just cuddled me.

When the Ambulance came the crew worked on Dean but nothing. They sat him in a chair as they put him in the ambulance. He was like a rag doll. I knew, I knew that Dean had died.

My family, friends, and all Dean’s friends came to the hospital in minutes. How weird that everyone was at home that morning. I saw the doctors pumping Dean, a lady came out said there were lines on the monitor but then I was told that Dean had died. I fell to my knees and screamed. I just wanted to run, run, run. It was not true he was alive yesterday, then I heard the cried of all my family – yes it was true. Over 300 people came to Dean’s funeral. All the super bikers turned up and lined the way. I just could not believe, I really could not believe it.

Today as I sit it is like a bad dream. I cannot go through life saying Dean died of nothing. I cannot accept that. I am so angry – hateful towards a lot of people and yet I am a nice person. I want to shut myself away from the world and yet I feel so lonely, lost, confused. If it was not for Mathew I know I would not be here today. I loved my son with all my heart. So much love I just cannot explain how much Dean was my life, my soul.

A good boy who was happy, bubbly, who had so many friends, so well liked, he was sensible, clever, and the fact his whole life ahead of him - why that has been taken away I will never understand. Dean had achieved so much during his last year. He had grown into a man and had worked hard and looked after me. He had passed Art College and joined the RAF, booked a lads’ holiday – he never went on – and bought his first super bike. Dean was so happy.

But just one thing a few days before Dean died, I kept staring at him, he kept saying to me “Mum why do you keep looking at me?” I said he looked different; he looked beautiful, really beautiful. He laughed when I told him but he did look beautiful – he was glowing and handsome.

In Memory of Ashley Livesey

Team Ash are raising funds in memory of Ashley Livesey who tragically collapsed and was unable to be revived whilst representing his school in an inter school cross country running championship which was staged in Stockport in March 2004. Ashley loved all kinds of sports and was very fit at the time of his death.

Now 30 of Ashley’s family and friends, who make up Team Ash, are taking on bicycle rides and challenges to keep Ashley’s memory alive. In July 2004, Team Ash took part in the Manchester to Blackpool charity cycle ride. After successfully completing the 60-mile route, they planned to go even further.mmThey have a very impressive itinerary!

In February 'Big Gaz' and 'Captain Rick' hatched a plan for this years Manchester to Blackpool ride. When approached both members of Team Ash refused to comment, but nor did they deny allegations that they would attempt to ride the famous event on a pair of Bickerton bicycles (possibly one of the ricketiest two wheeled contraptions ever made). Nor indeed did they deny the rumours that they would be wearing 'Laurel and Hardy' apparel. When asked who would be who they remained silent, but were later overheard arguing when Gary said "that's another fine mess you've got us into" and Richard was seen bursting into tears.

22nd of May Team Ash took part in the Great Manchester run which will now be an annual fixture. With the high profile of this televised event, and the presence of a galaxy of stars and celebrities it has become very popular.

The Team Ash Benefit evening held at the Shaw Masonic Hall on the 27th May was a tremendous success. Organised by Gary, Julie and Lucy the fun filled evening at the packed out venue continued fundraising for the SADS UK and CRY charities. Yvonne provided the music with her mobile disco, and an Irish folk band performed an enjoyable set. A souvenir stall and raffle raised cash and the Oldham Freemasons also made a generous donation. The press were there in numbers lending valuable publicity for this important cause.

Team Ash have completed three cycling events this year:-

• The Over the Edge Bike Ride, (organised jointly by the British Heart Foundation and the Trans Pennine Cycle Club).
• The Coast to Coast (c2c) off road bike ride from Whitehaven to Sunderland, following the Sustrans off-road route. They were invited by a group of Oldham business men whom they joined for the gruelling three day bike ride. Unlike most of the previous rides the group had undertaken, the weather proved to be Mediterranean for the entire three days, with the only problems being dehydration which was easily cured at the many hostelries along the way.
• The Manchester to Blackpool bike ride.

Gary says, Our fundraising is going from strength to strength with local business people offering to support us, also we have been given a payment from my union unison to help fund team ash events, tee shirts etc.

Team Ash, are a team with such determination and vigour, they feel that Ashley is willing them on in their gruelling events, as Ashley too was very enthusiastic about sport.

In Memory of Jamie Coffey

Jamie Coffey loved his sport, especially football which he often used to play in the field behind where he lived with his mum Josie and sister Janine. He was a very sensible, happy and loving 17 year old. They have been devastated by his sudden death.

The whole community were shocked and devastated when Jamie died whilst playing football. He was such a popular young man, loved by all who met him. His mother Josie made several promises to him when he passed away. She has already achieved one of those promises by providing a 24 hour heart monitor in his memory to Stoke Road Surgery in Cheltenham. Despite struggling in their grief Josie, Janine, his good friend Leanne Bullingham and the whole community came together to provide this safeguard to the community. Fundraising events included a Football Rally in memory of Jamie, where hundreds of people came along to honour Jamie. Local shops also raised funds, including the Wine Rack and Badhams Chemists who asked for donations. Jamie’s good friend Leanne Bullingham has put together a tribute book in memory of Jamie and has been making health professionals aware of these conditions by providing them with SADS UK information leaflets.

On Jamie’s first anniversary his mother Josie decided that she would score the goal that Jamie was aiming for on the day that he died and members of the community and from his workplace Positek Engineering came along.

‘I scored the goal for Jamie. I had to do this for him. I can see him now laughing his head off at me trying to kick the ball and score the goal. It means so much to me to have all his friends and colleagues from work here. He made a big impression on very many people’s lives – that’s Jamie’. Josie

Jamie’s colleagues at Positek Engineering wanted to do something as a lasting memorial to Jamie. They bought a bench so that people may go to the place where Jamie passed away and sit peacefully and think about Jamie.

 In Memory of Ben Hall

The 13 August is etched in our memory forever. It was a Sunday and the hottest day of the year. Ben, our 18 year-old son, got up early and took a friend home, who had stayed the night at our house because neither of them had enough money for the taxi. They only had enough money to get to our house. Ben returned and his dad, Doug, made him some toast. Ben went to football practice; he had only just got onto the football team for his local pub “The Mill”. He loved football and he was thrilled to be in the team.

Doug and I spent all day in the garden tidying it up. Ben returned home at around 11:30 am. He got out of his car and gave the car keys to Doug, saying he was too weak and breathless to pull the car onto the driveway. He came out to me in the garden saying he could hardly breathe although he looked perfectly fine to me and he wasn’t breathless, and I knew because I was a staff nurse working in Intensive Care Unit, and I knew when someone was poorly. I told Ben to go and have a drink and have a rest. After all he had a late night the night before, up early exercising on a hot day can be exhausting. He lay down on the settee with the TV control and flicked through some of the port channels.

He did sleep for a couple of hours but when he awoke he came out to us in the garden saying he didn’t feel well and still couldn’t get his breath. He still didn’t look ill. He then asked his dad to make him boiled eggs and lots of toasted soldiers. Doug made the eggs and toast and Ben ate them all. Then he lay down again and watched the sport on TV. Around 6.00 pm, he came out again and asked for £1.00 to go and get some lucozade. He went to the “The Mill” pub, sat in the shade with the manager of the pub and drank his pint of lucozade. As he left the pub Paul, the manager, said “see you later Ben”. He replied, “I’m stopping in because I don’t feel well”. Paul laughed and said “Yeah O.K. Ben see you later”. Ben was always in “The Mill” with his friends.

Ben came home at about 6.30 pm; I was getting ready for work at the time as I did two night shifts a week. At 6.50 pm he shouted to me to get him an ice pack. I was ready for work then so I asked him why he wanted an ice pack. He said he had an awful pain in his right shoulder. I gave him the ice pack and checked to see if both sides of his chest were moving and they were. For some reason I took hold of his hand and felt his pulse. It was erratic. I called for Doug he phoned the Health Help Line. Meanwhile, I phoned work to ask if I could have a holiday because I needed to get Ben sorted, he was never poorly. I was informed the Unit was short of staff. However, the Charge Nurse did say get him sorted out and to come in when I could.

Doug was still on the other phone talking to the Health Help Line. He was standing with the phone watching over the settee. Ben was trying to make him laugh pulling faces like Laurel and Hardy. The Nurse asked if Ben was pale. Doug said “Yes, but he never did have much colour. He then said jokingly ”He doesn’t look as if he’s going to kick the bucket”. The girl on the phone laughed, Doug laughed and our Ben laughed. Just then his eyes rolled and he started shaking, it looked as if he was having a fit. Doug screamed down the phone for an ambulance and shouted out our address. We lifted Ben to the floor and put him on his side making sure his airway was clear. I then checked his pulse. There was no pulse. We immediately commenced C.P.R. Doug did mouth to mouth and I massaged his heart. We were both frantic by this time. We continued until the ambulance arrived. The paramedics worked on Ben. Doug and I were told to go out of the room. We went outside onto the driveway. We were crying and praying to God that he was going to be O.K. I had my mobile and frantically rang work to tell them I wouldn’t be in, that Ben had collapsed and I would be in Casualty.

I went to my next door neighbours and told them what had happened. They were crying and hugging us. I asked them to look out of our youngest son, Luke, who at the time was 9. He was at a friend’s house and was returning at 7.30. We were all distraught and worried sick for our Ben.

It seemed a long time for the paramedics to come out of the house with Ben in a chair. He looked terrible. The paramedics told us we couldn’t go in the ambulance. So Pete, our neighbour, drove us to the hospital following the ambulance. On the way there we could not believe what was happening. It all seemed like a huge nightmare. Doug phoned his sister and her husband to go to Casualty saying something was wrong with our Ben.

As we arrived I saw the doctors rushing to Ben. We were put in a small waiting room. Dave, the charge nurse from the Unit I worked in, came in to see us. Also another Staff Nurse came in asking if there was anyone we needed to contact. We really could not take it all in. I asked him to phone Sue and Eileen, my closest friend, who also worked with me. The doctors kept coming in and asking what had happened and reassuring us they were doing everything they could. Pam came in next, another friend I worked with, saying “it wasn’t looking good”. They couldn’t shock our Ben into a rhythm. They worked on Ben for what seemed to be hours. Then the Consultant came out and said was nothing else they could do and did we want to be with Ben.

As we walked in they were defibrillating him for the last time. They took out all the tubes and drips and Doug and I held a hand each, kissing him and saying our goodbyes. We were stunned. We stayed with Ben for a while. Everyone was crying and saying they were sorry and asking if there was anything they could do for us. Nobody could help us. The pain of losing Ben was indescribable. Doug’s sister and brother-in-law drove us back home. We were all devastated and couldn’t believe what had happened to our beautiful son. We then had the task of telling Luke what had happened. We sat Luke in the middle of us and cried out what had happened to his big brother. That night Doug and I slept in Ben’s room; holding his dressing gown. I don’t think any of us slept.

The days leading up to the funeral were dreadful; hundreds of people came to see us. The week prior to our Ben’s death we had started major alterations in the house. Most of our ceilings were down, walls knocked out, the kitchen ripped out and all that was left was a sink and a cooker. No one seemed to mind. We decorated the walls with the hundreds of cards we received. The whole house was covered with flowers, and the smell of lilies haunts us.

Over 500 people attended Ben’s funeral. The church was full. There were people standing outside listening to the service from an outside speaker which a friend had provided because he knew our popular our Ben was, and had an inclination the church would be full. Ben was such a happy go lucky, fun loving bubbly person. He was easy going, lovable, generous and caring. He had a beaming smile that lit up the room. He stood out in a crowd. We loved him so much. Two years on we still cannot believe it and keep asking “Why?” “Why him?” The coroner’s report said Ben’s heart was normal but for some reason something went wrong with the electrical side. It is so hard to take in. We carry on – we have to – for our Luke. If it wasn’t for him we wouldn’t get up in the morning.

We loved our son and would do anything to have him back. Part of us died with him. He will never be forgotten. Every anniversary, birthday, Christmas and Easter the grave is covered in flowers and cards from all his friends. They won’t forget him either. They still come and see us occasionally which is comforting. He had some truly loyal friends. We only wish they were coming to see Ben not us.

For Ben’s first anniversary “The Mill” held a “Ben Hall Fun Day” which raised over £4,000 for a local school. In May this year Doug and his brother-in-law ran in the Gothenburg Half Marathon. We raised £1,288.50 sponsorship money, which we have donated to SADS UK in memory of Ben Hall.

Ben’s friends have already asked us what we are going to do next to raise money. Ben is missed so very much. We made a special tribute to him where he is buried in Houghton Cemetery. The supervisor, George, who also knew Ben, has told us we would not believe the number of people that come to visit with Ben. We know he is watching over us. We will miss him forever, forget him never, our wonderful son, Ben, is now one of God’s angels. Liz, Doug and Luke Hall.